I have pictures of my very good looking young man on my work computer which I sometimes use as desktop backgrounds. Some of them include me, some don't, and my girlfriends tease me by saying that I am like a moony adolescent who probably also doodles his name in the margins of my notes. While that may or may not be true, I am enjoying this phase of our relationship.
Eight months in, I like that I still get butterflies and feel amazed by how gorgeous he is. And that he likes me back! I love how he kisses me and puts his arm around me. We talk a lot and listen to music together, and I always learn something. But just because I swoon when I see him walk, that does not mean that I am oblivious to how much work we both have to do to keep this relationship good.
I was a wife for a long time, and the erosion of small courtesies, sweet nothings, and just-because bijoux is part of what killed the marriage. I am a firm believer in not taking my partner for granted, and I expect the same treatment.
A recent revelation for me has been that people show love in different ways. I am very physically affectionate, lavishing those I love with hugs, kisses, pats, hair ruffles, and playful swats on the butt. My man also gets kisses of all kinds, and we hold hands a lot. He is loving in that he responds to my affection in kind; on his own he buys me little gifts, opens the car door for me, and won't let me pay for my beer.
What's most important is that we let us be ourselves. We accept one another's flaws and do not try to mold the other into what we think s/he needs to be. I was so young when I met my ex-husband, and I thought I was supposed to change him. Don't ask why I thought that, but I sure as hell learned my lesson. My geek flag flies free with my new partner, and he makes no bones about loving country music and disliking vegetables.
I am learning how to make this work, as I want it to last for a long, long time. This adulting business is tough, but I have a good man beside me who wants the same. In the end, that's what counts, right?
